CHOOSE YOUR THOUGHTS

THE IMPORTANCE OF CONTROLLING YOUR MINDSET FOR A BETTER WORK AND HOME LIFE

Steve Jobs knew he wanted to make the iPhone. He knew what it should look like, what size it should be, and what it should do long before the first prototype was produced. He had designers creating mock ups out of wooden blocks so he could feel it in his hand long before the engineers had any clue as to how they would fit the necessary parts into something that small. He notoriously drove his engineers crazy with his insistence that it could be done, even when they told him it was impossible.

You know the rest. He was right, and the resulting product made history.
I was inspired to write this post after hearing it put this way : You have the buffet of life laid out before you. Are you going to walk up and be mad about the things on that buffet that you don't want to eat? Or are you going to fill your plate with exactly the things you love?
What if Steve Jobs spent his days writing rebuttal emails to nay-saying engineers? Steve Jobs was focused on one thing and one thing only. He filled his plate every day with only that one thing.

Thoughts turn to things. Not in the way that if you think about a Corvette one will appear in your driveway. But, on a subliminal level our lives move in the direction of our thoughts. The things we focus on grow bigger, and the things we ignore fade into the background. So when we choose our focus, we choose what we are putting on our plate in the buffet of life.

Had Steve Jobs not focused on exactly what he wanted the iPhone would not have changed the way we live.

So let's talk about some every day applications of this concept.

1. Focus - Start your day off with a focus. Think about what you want to accomplish, and how you want to feel at the end of the day. If you can, try to spend 5 minutes writing about your focus at the beginning of the morning, and 5 minutes when you get back from lunch. Find ways to insert that focus into all your tasks. Remember that the things you hold in your focus tend to grow. What do you want to put on your plate today?
   An important sibling to focus could be gratitude. Many of us pray at when we wake up and/or at night. I once heard that a prayer should follow the ACTS format - Adore, Confess, Thank, Supplicate. Two out of four parts of that formula are focused around acts that release dopamine in our brains - Adore and Thank. Further, the less dopamine-releasing parts are sandwiched between the dopamine hits. That may be too scientific for you, but it makes a lot of sense to me. Regardless of your religious leanings or bed-time routine it is a great idea to spend time focused in grateful observation of the things we have. It is the easiest way to love your life more.
   
   
2. Redirect - When you find your day going off the rails look for ways to redirect. This could mean turning down meetings or assignments that don't fit your focus. It could mean delegating. Or it could mean looking for ways to retrofit the work you have assigned to you to make it fit your focus.
   It could also mean taking a micro approach to the buffet metaphor. There are times when it is necessary to do work that does not serve your focus. Like when you had to take a fine arts class in college. That fine arts class at that time in your life WAS your buffet. Your only choice was to put the things that served you best on your plate, and leave the rest behind.
   
   
3. Avoid - Avoid filling your plate with things you don't want. Just don't place items you don't want on your plate. Ignore them and walk toward the desert table.
   Seems easy, right? But how many times this week have you replayed an unwanted experience to a friend?
   It's natural to call up your sister and say 'YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE...' We call that 'venting', and we all do it. Unfortunately though, it doesn't serve you. Recalling a negative experience keeps you in that negative experience. Best to let it go (I know what you're thinking - don't even - oh wait - I can't help it - 'Let it go, let it go, Can't hold it back anymoOOoOore...')
   
   But I'm thinking of an even more ridiculous scene. It's from that old Courtney Cox show 'Cougartown.' Jennifer Anniston is guest starring as Courtney's flakey and self-righteous therapist. Jennifer tells Courtney - with eyes closed and holding an imaginary balloon in one hand - "my anger is a red balloon and I 'POOF' let it go."
   
   Infuriating, right? Not to sound flakey and self-righteous, but with practice it can be done. You don't have to stay in anger or disappointment or frustration if you don't want to. But the first step in letting it go is to stop reliving it. You can't walk away from it if you WON'T walk away from it. It's bad enough that it landed on your plate, but do you really want to go back for seconds!?
   
   

At the end of the day we all want to go home ready to be an engaged, happy participant in our personal lives. By choosing our thoughts more carefully we can not only be more pleasant and more productive at work, but we bring home a satisfied and eager self. You may just find that as you learn to choose your thoughts carefully at work, your days and weeks become more pleasant, fulfilling, and successful. That's a heck of an exchange for giving up your 'venting' sessions.